Misconception # 1: It is not civilized to have more than one wife at a time.

Definition of Polygamy

Polygamy means a system of marriage whereby a person has more than one spouse. Polygamy can be of two types. One is polygyny where a man marries more than one woman, and the other is polyandry, where a woman marries more than one man. In Islam, limited polygyny is permitted; whereas polyandry is completely prohibited. Now coming to the original question, why is a man allowed to have more than one wife?

The Qur’an is the only religious scripture in the world that says, ‘Marry Only One.’

The Qur’an is the only religious book, on the face of this earth, that contains the phrase ‘Marry Only One’. There is no other religious book that instructs men to have only one wife. In none of the other religious scriptures, whether it be the Vedas, the Ramayana, the Mahabharata, the Geeta, the Talmud or the Bible does one find a restriction on the number of wives. According to these scriptures one can marry as many as one wishes. It was only later, that the Hindu priests and the Christian Church restricted the number of wives to one.

Many Hindu religious personalities, according to their scriptures, had multiple wives. King Dashrat, the father of Rama, had more than one wife. Krishna had 16,108 wives. Some Hindus may argue that Krishna did not marry these women for sex but to give them protection. After the battle thousands of women became widows and Krishna, in order to give them protection married them. Then, how come Krishna had 160,000 children from them.

In earlier times, Christian men were permitted as many wives as they wished,since the Bible puts no restriction on the number of wives. It was only a fewcenturies ago that the Church restricted the number of wives to one.

Polygyny is permitted in Judaism. According to the Talmudic law, Abrahamhad three wives, and Solomon had seven hundred wives. The practice ofpolygyny continued till Rabbi Gershom ben Yehudah (960 CE to 1030 CE)issued an edict against it. The Jewish Sephardic communities living in Muslimcountries continued the practice till as late as 1950, until an Act of the ChiefRabbinate of Israel extended the ban on marrying more than one wife.

Hindus are more polygynous than Muslims

The report of the ‘Committee of The Status of Women in Islam’, published in1975 mentions on page numbers 66 and 67 that the percentage ofpolygamous marriages between the years 1951 and 1961 was 5.06% amongthe Hindus and only 4.31% among the Muslims. According to Indian law onlyMuslim men are permitted to have more than one wife. It is illegal for anynon-Muslim in India to have more than one wife. Despite it being illegal,Hindus have more multiple wives as compared to Muslims. Earlier, there wasno restriction even on Hindu men with respect to the number of wivesallowed. It was only in 1954, when the Hindu Marriage Act was passed that itbecame illegal for a Hindu to have more than one wife. At present it is theIndian Law that restricts a Hindu man from having more than one wife andnot the Hindu scriptures.

Let us now analyse why Islam allows a man to have more than one wife.

Qur’an permits limited polygyny

As I mentioned earlier, Qur’an is the only religious book on the face of theearth that says ‘Marry Only One’. The context of this phrase is the followingverse from Surah Al Nisaa’ of the Glorious Qur’an:

“Marry women of your choice, two, or three, or four; but if ye fear that yeshall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one…”[Al-Qur’an 4:3]

Before the Qur’an was revealed, there was no upper limit for polygyny andmany men had scores of wives, some even hundreds. Islam put an upperlimit of four wives. Islam gives a man permission to marry two, three or fourwomen, only on the condition that he deals justly with them.In the same chapter i.e. Surah Al Nisaa’ verse 129 says:

“Ye are never able to be fair and just as between women, even if it is yourardent desire: But turn not away (from a woman) altogether, so as to leaveher (as it were) hanging (in the air). If ye come to a friendly understanding,and practise self-restraint, Allah is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful.”[Al-Qur’an 4:129]

Therefore polygyny is not a rule but an exception. Many people are under themisconception that it is compulsory for a Muslim man to have more than onewife.

Broadly, Islam has five categories of Do’s and Don’ts:

• (i) ‘Fard’ i.e. compulsory or obligatory
• (ii) ‘Mustahab’ i.e. recommended or encouraged
• (iii) ‘Mubah’ i.e. permissible or allowed
• (iv) ‘Makruh’ i.e. not recommended or discouraged
• (v) ‘Haraam’ i.e. prohibited or forbidden

Polygyny falls in the middle category of things that are permissible. It cannotbe said that a Muslim who has two, three or four wives is a better Muslim ascompared to a Muslim who has only one wife.

Average life span of females is more than that of males

By nature males and females are born in approximately the same ratio. Afemale child has more immunity than a male child. A female child can fight thegerms and diseases better than the male child. For this reason, during thepaediatric age itself there are more deaths among males as compared to thefemales.

During wars, there are more men killed as compared to women. More men diedue to accidents and diseases than women. The average life span of femalesis more than that of males, and at any given time one finds more widows inthe world than widowers.

India has more male population than female due to female foeticideand infanticide

India is one of the few countries, along with the other neighbouring countries,in which the female population is less than the male population. The reasonlies in the high rate of female foeticide and female infanticide in India. “Dailyaround 7000 girls are killed in the womb or immediately after birth in India” –UN Report, Quoted in Al Jazeera, 6th July 2015. If you multiply this figure by365, the number of days in a year you will get more than 2.5 million femalesbeing aborted or killed immediately after birth every year in India.If this evil practice is stopped, then India too will have more females ascompared to males.

World female population is more than male population

According to CIA (Central Intelligence Agency) The World Factbook, in July2015, in the USA, women outnumbered men by 4.8 million. New York alonehas 0.5 million more females as compared to the number of males. Germanyhas more than 1.2 million more females as compared to males. Bangladeshhas more than 4.2 million females as compared to males. Russia has morethan 10 million females as compared to males. The European Union, whichconstitutes 28 Countries of Europe, has more than 10.2 million females ascompared to males.

Restricting each and every man to have only one wife is not practical

Even if every man got married to one woman, there would still be more than4.8 million females in USA who would not be able to get husbands. Therewould be more than 1.2 million females in Germany, more than 4.2 millionfemales in Bangladesh, more than 10 million females in Russia, more than10.2 million females in the European Union alone, who would not be able tofind a husband.

Suppose my sister happens to be one of the unmarried women living in USA,or suppose your sister happens to be one of the unmarried women in USA.The only two options remaining for her are that she either marries a man whoalready has a wife or becomes a public property. There is no other option. Allthose who are modest will opt for the first.

In Western society, it is common for a man to have mistresses and/or multipleextra-marital affairs, in which case, the woman leads a disgraceful,unprotected life. The same society, however, cannot accept a man havingmore than one wife, in which women retain their honourable, dignifiedposition in society and lead a protected life.

Thus the only two options before a woman who cannot find a husband is tomarry a married man or to become public property. Islam prefers givingwomen the honourable position by permitting the first option and disallowingthe second.

Other Reasons for Polygyny being permitted

Excess of women is not the only reason why a man is allowed to marry morethan one woman. There are several other reasons besides this.

1. WIFE IS STERILE: COUPLE HAS NO CHILDREN

Suppose the wife is sterile or barren and the couple is unable to have childrenfor several years. Islam does not permit legal adoption (for which there areseveral reasons). But may be the husband and wife both desire children andthe wife does not mind sharing her husband. So what’s the harm in a manhaving two wives as long as he deals with them justly. Even if the wife maynot desire to have a child and the husband wishes to continue his progeny, then the only option remaining for him is to either divorce his first wife andtake another wife or keep the first wife and marry a second and treat both thewives with justice and equality.

2. WIFE MAY MEET WITH AN ACCIDENT AND BECOME HANDICAP

Suppose a young girl within a few months of her marriage meets with anaccident and gets handicapped, after which she is unable to perform her dutyas a wife. The only option for the young husband is that he either divorces hisfirst wife and takes another wife or keeps the first wife and marries anotherwoman and treats both the wives with justice and equality.

3. WIFE SUFFERING FROM SEVERE ILLNESS OR DISEASE

Suppose a wife suffers from a severe illness or disease, and is unable to lookafter her young children and satisfy her husband. The first option you can findhere is that the husband keeps the first wife and takes the second wife. Thiswife will act as a help and support to the first wife and her children. Many mayargue that you can always keep a full-time nurse or a maid-servant for thispurpose. I do agree that this full-time nurse or maid-servant will surelysupport the wife and the children, but very soon will also start “supporting”the young husband. Therefore the only modest option is to keep the first wifeand take the second wife and treat them equally with justice.There are several other reasons, why Islam has permitted limited polygyny,but it is mainly to protect the modesty of women.